Those Blue Eyes
by JessB98
Summary: "The mission had gone wrong. She doesn't know how or when, it just did... And as she looks up into the blue eyes that belong to her saviour, Natasha knows she is safe, no matter what her fate may be, she is safe in his arms." First Avengers fic. Clintasha. Natasha-centric. Includes Budapest flashback and various other flashbacks. Phil Coulson lives btw.
1. Prologue

**A/N- This is my first Avengers fanfic so if you have any constructive criticism that would be pretty cool, let me know what you think. I'm doing it as a little one shot but might turn it into a story so tell me if you think I should continue.**

**Disclaimer- Sadly I do not own the Avengers or any other things that you might have seen somewhere else because if I did, there would be lots of Clintasha and there would be a film named Budapest.**

The mission had gone wrong. She doesn't know how or when, it just did. Now here she was, facing her target as he cocks his gun and aims it at her heart.

Her mind is racing with thoughts of what could have twisted the fate of this mission, and as she looks back at the gun, she allows her thoughts to wander to that one man.

She remembers him helping her, setting her free. She remembers how he holds her in the middle of the night after her past steals her sleep. She remembers the solo missions and fearing for each other's lives. She remembers them both patching each other up and she remembers how no matter what, he always finds her and he always brings her to safety.

So if he always finds her, where is he now as she stands weakly, her legs threatening to drop her, looking down the barrel of a gun.

Slowly, she begins to give up, she begins to think that he'll never find her. She begins to lose herself and she does something in that moment, something they haven't been trained to do. She asks her target to shoot her. She gives up.

Her target agrees without a word, pulling the trigger as her legs crumple beneath her and he hits the ground with an almost silent thump.

As she lay there, her eyes drifting closed, she hears the sound of her target falling to the ground with a large thud and hears footsteps, loud and quick.

Suddenly, she's being rolled over, a slight gasp of pain involuntarily escaping her lips, and she looks up into the eyes of that one man that she trusts so much, that one man that she loves so much, but refuses to admit it.

And as she looks up into the blue eyes that belong to her saviour, Natasha knows she is safe, no matter what her fate may be, she is safe in his arms. One word escapes her lips as she drifts into unconsciousness.

_"Clint"_


	2. Not You, Romanoff

**A/N- I am continuing, but it will be in past tense from here on. I didn't expect the reaction I got from the first chapter. I got 129 views from all over the world in less than 24 hours after posting the story. Thank you so much for reading it because it means so much. Thank you to Emma PixieLix Duggan and AbbyRose17 for being my first two reviews, I'm so glad you both liked it.**

**Disclaimer- Sadly I do not own the Avengers or any other things that you might have seen somewhere else because if I did, there would be lots of Clintasha and there would be a film named Budapest.**

"Well done Avengers, thanks to you, Loki has not caused permanent damage and will be punished in Asgard for his actions." Director Nick Fury congratulated as he debriefed the Avengers.

"Thanks Patchy." Tony mocked.

"As of now, each of you are on a compulsory one month vacation." Fury explained. Cheers and thanks chorused throughout the debriefing room.

"Except you, Romanoff, you'll be going to see Hill and Coulson immediately." Fury ordered as the room suddenly silenced.

"Yes, sir." Natasha replied, standing up and walking out of the room, the rest of the team staring at the door.

"How can she not care about vacation?" Tony asked Clint.

"She's Nat, what do you expect?" Clint replied.

"Oh, I don't know, a _reaction_." Tony suggested, shrugging.

"She's good at hiding her emotions, I've known her for 10 years and even _I _can't work out her emotions half of the time." Clint stated.

"Director, do you really think that's wise? I mean, she's been through a lot." Steve reasoned as the teams' eyes returned to Director Fury.

"I agree with Steve on this one. This surely won't be good for her health, she's already deteriorating from sleep deprivation and exhaustion." Bruce stated.

"I am fully aware of her health and what she has been through, however, she has one more thing that she must do before she can be given a leave of-" Fury was cut off by the door slamming open and an extremely angry Natasha storming in.

"You're sending me _there_?!" She screamed as she held Fury by the throat against the wall.

"Good at hiding her emotions, huh?" Tony mused to Clint in a quiet whisper.

"_Shut up._ It must be really bad if she's reacting like this, she never raises her voice to Fury, never mind physically harms him." Clint hissed, worry evident in his voice.

"Nat, I think you should calm down." Tony advised, taking a step towards her. Despite everything that had happened between them, he came to be protective of her and became like an older brother to Natasha, along with the rest of the Avengers.

"I will not calm down until he tells me why the hell he's sending me there!" She shouted, her eyes still focussed on burning a hole into Fury's eyes.

"Well he's not going to be able to say anything if he can't breathe!" Tony yelled back, knowing that the best way to calm her down was to just shout back and help her get the anger out of her system. Natasha sighed and let go of Fury, allowing him to get oxygen into his lungs.

"You are the only agent that can do this job, Romanoff. It has to be you." Fury explained. Natasha didn't look satisfied.

"Why?" She asked through gritted teeth.

"You know them better than anyone else here; you are the only one that they will trust." Fury told her. She sighed and took a step back.

"I better go and pack then." Natasha muttered. "You tell them nothing, otherwise you'll be dead before you can blink. I don't want them worrying." She hissed in Fury's ear before turning to leave.

"You leave in ten." Fury called after her as she walked out.


	3. It's Not That Simple

**A/N- I'm not going to rant for ages this time so thank you to everyone who's reading this story and I hope you'll like the rest that has yet to come, I don't know how long it's gonna be but the chapters will vary.**

**Disclaimer- Sadly I do not own the Avengers or any other things that you might have seen somewhere else because if I did, there would be lots of Clintasha and there would be a film named Budapest.**

"Okay Fury, what the hell was that about?" Clint asked, eyebrow raised in suspicion.

"I'm afraid I cannot tell you that information, otherwise I fear my life may be at risk." Director Fury replied.

"Can you at least tell us where you're sending her?" Bruce questioned.

"Absolutely not. My life is at risk, if I tell you _that_ then I can guaranteed that I will be dead before I can blink." Fury admitted.

"Well I'm not happy, Nat doesn't get that mad over a normal mission, where's she going and why?" Clint demanded.

"So you're telling us that Natasha doesn't want us to know?" Bruce asked. Fury nodded in a swift motion, so swift that it was barely noticeable except to those staring intently waiting for the response to the doctor's question.

"I don't care if she doesn't want us to know, I'm going to find out where you're sending her." Clint said sternly, before turning and exiting the room.

"Why are you sending her on a mission so soon? She doesn't need this; we don't need her getting hurt." Tony explained, looking concerned for Natasha.

"This mission is a high priority mission that needs to be done immediately, hence the early leaving time." Fury briefed quickly.

"Why not send someone else, or at least send someone with her?" Steve suggested. The Avengers were determined to get her out of this, even if it meant that they had to miss their vacations to help or go on their own.

"She is the only one that can go, now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see her off and make sure everything goes to plan." Fury said before dismissing the debriefing and exiting the room. Tony, Steve and Bruce exchanged worried glances before hurrying out of the room.

* * *

After following Fury to the take-off zone, they were greeted with a sight that stopped them dead in their tracks. Natasha Romanoff was hopping onto a jet with tears in her eyes.

"Where the hell is he sending you Tash?" Clint asked, his voice becoming slightly louder. The rest of the Avengers soon arrived next to Clint, all looking at Natasha with curious eyes.

"He's sending me to Russia, Clint." She replied, her voice wavering as she looked down at them.

"Nat, you can deal with Russia, you've dealt with missions in Russia so many times before." Clint assured her, looking her in the eyes.

"It's not that simple." Natasha responded before closing the door, sitting down and buckling in. She turned on her communicator as they took off and headed for Russia, only to have Clint's voice on the other end.

"_What did you mean, 'It's not that simple.' It's not that bad, right?" _Clint asked from inside the S.H.I.E.L.D base.

"I'm going to the Red Room, that's my mission, I have to regain their trust, kill them and destroy the Red Room once and for all." Natasha admitted. There was a male scream on the other end and suddenly another voice was on the line.

"_Good luck, Widow. Come back safe, yeah? Don't worry, we'll keep Hawkeye sane._" came Tony's voice and the line went dead.


	4. Haunted Past

**A/N- There's really not that much to say except how happy I am to be able to watch Marvel: Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. I live in the UK so we only get it today. Natasha's past will be in this bit, it's partially what's true and some bits I have changed and guessed.**

**Disclaimer- Sadly I do not own the Avengers or any other things that you might have seen somewhere else because if I did, there would be lots of Clintasha and there would be a film named Budapest.**

"_I'm going to the Red Room, that's my mission, I have to regain their trust, kill them and destroy the Red Room once and for all_." Natasha admitted. Clint let out a furious scream before slamming the communicator down and storming out of the room.

"Good luck, Widow. Come back safe, yeah? Don't worry, we'll keep Hawkeye sane_._" Tony spoke into the communicator before disconnecting the line until Natasha checked in again. He turned around to see Steve and Bruce still looking shocked.

"Okay, does anyone know what that was about? And what's the Red Room?" Tony asked, eyebrow raised in confusion.

"I have no idea. Clint didn't seem too happy with it so maybe it is something to do with what happened on mission." Bruce stated, shrugging slightly with a sigh.

"Why don't we go ask Legolas?" Tony suggested.

"I hate that I'm doing this, but I agree, for once." Steve admitted. With that, the three Avengers made their way to the training rooms, where they knew Clint would be letting off some steam.

* * *

In the training room with the archery equipment, Clint was taking his anger out on the moving targets as he hit each target in the heart with one swift movement. He was covered in sweat and his body and posture clearly showed exhaustion. When Steve, Tony and Bruce arrived, Clint was in the middle of practicing his archery with his eyes closed, once again hitting the targets in the heart which would effectively kill the victim quickly.

"I suppose you want to know why I reacted like that, right?" Clint asked, though it came across more like a statement, without even opening his eyes.

"No, why would we want to know that?" Tony said sounding offended. Clint glared at him, causing Tony to put his hands in the air and take a step back.

"If it's no bother, we were curious." Bruce admitted, looking down sheepishly.

"And, we were wondering what the Red Room was." Steve explained nervously. Clint sighed and placed the bow back on the rack and pulling the arrows from the targets, placing them into the quiver and placing that on the rack beside the bow.

"The Red Room is a Russian organisation that teaches girls to become master assassins from a young age. They teach them hand-to-hand combat, how to use different kinds of weapons, how to effectively kill someone, how to interrogate someone, how to handle interrogation. They beat them for showing weakness; send them to kill people when they are deemed ready. They experiment on some girls if they are said to be worthy, like Natasha." Clint told them. He sat down against the wall, the others joining him there immediately.

"How do you know all that stuff?" Tony asked.

"I met Tasha when I was sent on a mission to kill her. She'd gotten on S.H.I.E.L.D's radar for all the wrong reasons. When I met her, her kill count was at least 450, they were innocents too." Clint explained.

"I still don't understand how you know that stuff though." Tony stated obviously.

"What I'm about to tell you must be kept between the three of us. The only people that know this are Natasha, me, Fury, Coulson, Hill, The Red Room and in a moment, you. Is that understood?" Clint demanded.

"Crystal clear." Steve, Bruce and Tony replied in sync.

"Natasha is rumoured to be a possible descendant of Russia's royal family. When Natasha was 4, her parents were killed in a hospital fire. A man named Ivan Petrovich pulled her from the flames and took her to the Red Room. While there she was trained like everyone else, but when she showed potential, she was experimented on. The effects were life changing. She has advanced speed, strength, agility, reflexes, durability, immune system and healing rate." Clint began.

"That explains a lot." Steve stated.

"Anyway, she was sent on a mission to kill yet another innocent person and I was sent to kill Natasha. When I met her, 10 years ago, she was 13 and I was 18, she'd been at the Red Room for nearly 10 years. I hadn't known how young she was until she turned around and aimed her gun at me. As soon as I realised, I lowered my bow a little. When I told her that I wasn't going to kill her, she didn't believe me but trusted me pretty quickly after I placed my bow on the floor with my quiver of arrows. When I explained to her that I could give her a fresh start and get her a job at S.H.I.E.L.D. she seemed relieved. When she accepted and we arrived back at base, Fury was far from happy and Natasha took her time to trust anyone. A few months later, she told me about her past and we became a team. The 'Untouchables' was what they called us and have been calling us ever since, we rarely fail a mission and we always patch each other up if we're injured." Clint told them.

"I'm not surprised, you work well together." Bruce admitted.

"It only took us a couple of days to work out that she hated hospitals; she ended up leaving several doctors bedridden after being sent to the infirmary after a head injury from training. The longest she's ever stayed in the infirmary is about 5 minutes, unless she's in a coma or something. She also gets really bad nightmares about her past, the best thing to do then is to wake her up but don't hold her down; if she can't move, she feels like she's back at the Red Room, it will most likely result in your death. She's prone to panic attacks whenever her past is mentioned, unless she brings it up. The best thing to do if she has a panic attack is to get me, Hill or Coulson, she only calms down for us, if you can't find us, ring us, if you still can't get in touch, lock her in a room by herself and let her battle it out, just make sure there aren't any weapons or sharps objects in there." Clint finished, looking at the rest of the team who looked like they were furious.


	5. I Didn't Come To Russia To Quit

**A/N- This is gonna be a bit of a depressing chapter and I know that it's short, I'm trying to write longer chapters without giving too much away and without finishing it too quickly. By the way, I'm uploading a song-fic in a couple of days. It'll be written with the lyrics of Man Down by Rihanna in mind and, of course, it's a Clintasha fic. It's a 'What If' about when they met. When it's up, please feel free to give it a read.**

**Disclaimer- Sadly I do not own the Avengers or any other things that you might have seen somewhere else because if I did, there would be lots of Clintasha and there would be a film named Budapest.**

As Natasha landed in Moscow, Russia, she turned her communicator back on and took a deep breath before speaking into it, informing S.H.I.E.L.D. of her arrival at the Russian safe house. She departed the jet and headed into the not-so-clean safe house, heading immediately to the bedroom and unpacking some things, but not all of them, knowing that the Red Room would make her stay at the academy, if she managed to once again gain their trust.

"_Base to Black Widow, do you copy?_" Came her handler's panicked voice from her communicator.

"Black Widow to Base, I copy." Natasha replied quickly.

"_The jet you arrived on has been shot down. No survivors. They know where he safe house is, immediate evac._" Phil explained. Natasha quickly stuffed her belongings in the duffle bag and hurried down the stairs to the basement hatch before opening it, climbing in and closing the hatch again.

"Who knows?" Natasha asked.

"_The Red Room._" Coulson stated.

"So the whole operation's down and I only just arrived?" Natasha questioned.

"_Yep._" Her handler replied, popping the 'p'.

"So now what?" Natasha asked, her voice becoming an almost silent whisper as she snuck through the tunnels below Moscow, away from the safe house.

"_We need to find somewhere and send a jet to pick you up and bring you back._" Phil replied, sighing.

"How did they find out?" Natasha pressed.

"_We're not sure, but we think there's someone in our base working for them and they must have told the Red Room._" Phil told her.

"Does the Red Room know that it's me?" Natasha queried, becoming slightly annoyed.

"_No, not yet. But no funny business, right Romanoff. We're getting you on the first jet back. The mission has been aborted, is that clear?_" Coulson demanded.

"Crystal. Put Fury on?" Natasha asked, stunning her handler. There was shuffling on the other end of the communicator as a new voice spoke through.

"_Agent Romanoff, you requested a word._" Fury inquired.

"With all due respect, Sir. I would like to continue this mission. It took all my will power not to reject the mission and I have not flown to Russia to abort the mission and let the Red Room continue with it's torture." Natasha insisted, leaving no room for argument.

"_Do what you must. I know this is a personal matter as much as it is work related, if not more. What do we need to know?_" Fury answered.

"I need to confront the Red Room. If I become the monster I was before S.H.I.E.L.D. then I need you to kill me if you get the chance. That is an order. While I'm in Russia, keep an eye on the gu-" Natasha was cut off by and explosion as she flew forward as the earth collapsed onto her and everything went black.

"_Romanoff? Black Widow, do you copy?_" Fury asked, showing obvious signs of distress as he waited anxiously for a reply, yet none came.

* * *

At the S.H.I.E.L.D. base, the Avengers, Coulson, Hill, Fury and various other S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel were waiting for a reply from the infamous Black Widow and numerous other personnel were quickly trying to discover what had happened.

"An explosion, Sir!" Hill exclaimed.

"What?" Fury asked.

"There was an explosion at the Russian safe house." She explained.

"What areas were affected?" Fury questioned.

"Anything within the 500m radius of the safe house has been destroyed, Sir." Hill replied.

"How far did Tasha make it away from the safe house at the time of the explosion?" Clint asked.

"462m." Hill answered solemnly.

"Sir, incoming call from Moscow." Phil informed.

"Answer it." Fury commanded. As Phil answered the call, the face of Ivan Petrovich popped up on the main screen in the control room.

"_I see you sent a spy to destroy me._" Petrovich stated, expecting a response. Fury just stood tall, saying nothing in reply.

"I see you blew up the place." Stark replied in a mocking tone.

"_Anyway, we found the body... So nice of you to return Natalia back to us. However, after betraying us, I'm afraid her premature death was extremely helpful. Had she survived, however, she would have been dead as soon as we saw her. She over stayed her welcome too long already. No matter, enjoy your time of grief; I shall have her body sent over for you so you may dispose of it. Good day._" And with that, the screen went black and the entire S.H.I.E.L.D. base was silent, each person shocked at the new information. Each person stunned by the realisation.

Natasha Romanoff, the infamous Black Widow, the other half of the Untouchables, was dead. If she was dead, where was the hope for any other agent sent to destroy the Red Room? She was dead and there was nothing they could do. She was dead and Ivan Petrovich spoke about her as though she were trash that had been sat in a bag for weeks and began to rot. She was dead and they never got to tell her how much she meant to each and every one of them. She was dead and, in their hearts, minds and souls, so was everybody else.


	6. Author's NoteRant

**A/N- Firstly, I want to say thank you to the Guest that reviewed chapter 2 on 29th September, but as I said in the summary, Phil Coulson will live in this, I wanted to have him in this story. I also watched Marvel: Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D which is set after the battle of New York in the Avengers, here's a few quotes to help you see where I'm Going with this.(SPOILER ALERT!)**

**Hill: For that you will have to ask Agent Coulson.  
Ward: I'm clearance level 6, I know that Coulson died before the battle of New York,  
Coulson: [steps out of shadow] Welcome to level 7. Sorry, that corner was really dark, I couldn't help myself. I think there's a bulb out.**

Ward: So Director Fury faked your death to motivate the Avengers?  
Hill: The death of a comrade is a particularly effective motivator.  
Coulson: It wasn't that big of stretch, I stopped breathing for 40 seconds  
Hill: That time gets longer each time you tell it.  
Coulson: You get shanked by the Asgardian Mussolini and you can tell it your way.

**I rest my case... Anyway, I planned this story before I even heard about the series so that is why he is in here!**

**Btw, sorry if you thought this was a new chapter, I really felt like I needed to explain that incase some people *Cough*Guest*Cough* didn't read the summary and if you were such an amazing Marvel fan, you would've known that Coulson didn't die. I decided after seeing the Avengers film that Phil Coulson wasn't dead, he was too much of an awesome guy to kill off. Anyway, rant over and hope you enjoy the next chapter.**


	7. Grieve For A Widow

**A/N- I'm so sorry for taking so long with this chapter, I'm suffering with school and homework. I'm going to try and update a couple of times a week but I have a couple of other stories that I'm writing as well. Anyway, here's the next chapter, I'm moving it along quite quickly because I don't want to drag it out if you know what I mean. It's only short and for that I'm sorry, It's just the thoughts and feelings of her co-workers.**

**Disclaimer- Sadly I do not own the Avengers or any other things that you might have seen somewhere else because if I did, there would be lots of Clintasha and there would be a film named Budapest.**

If people said that Steve Rogers was shocked, it would be an understatement. Out of his entire team, he'd thought that she was the least likely to fall. She was too strong for that and so many people feared her. Now here he was, stood in S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, frozen to one spot, his mouth forming an 'o' shape as he took in the news they had just received. He was their leader, he was supposed to make sure that they didn't fall. So what if it wasn't any of the avengers concern? Who cares if it was a S.H.I.E.L.D. mission? She was his team mate and he felt like her older brother and he let her fall. He didn't catch her, he didn't help, she was in another country all together, but he should have kept track of her and made sure that she was safe. He failed her.

* * *

Bruce Banner was threatening to lose control. To let the Hulk go on a rampage. Nobody would care, they'd just let him because they felt the same. The battle of New York had brought them closer together. He remembered injuring her as the Hulk rampaged after the explosion in base and he was sorry. She forgave him easily. She was used to the pain, just not from a team mate. He was angry, he couldn't understand how it had happened, it made no sense to him. She was the best assassin alongside Clint. She was able to take down more than 50 men on her own, but she didn't know about the bomb. She was so close to dodging the blast. He wondered how the men from the Red Room had survived the blast and she hadn't. He wondered if she was still alive but he knew better than to bring it up, no one could survive a blast that powerful. He loved her as though she were his little sister, but he didn't protect her and he hated himself for it.

* * *

Thor was confused. He barely knew about the Midgardian phrases or anything Midgardian, but he understood when somebody had been killed in the line of duty. He was still in Asgard when he heard of the disaster. He was devastated but confused as to how it had happened. Almost immediately after hearing the news, he returned to Earth, to the S.H.I.E.L.D. base where his remaining team mates were and when he heard how she died, he was angered by how the men could have been so cruel, he was angered by her being so close to safety, he was angered at the thought of his being an older brother to her and failing her. but he knew it would not help, so he turned to calm his friends. He would grieve later.

* * *

Tony Stark was not happy. He wasn't happy at all. He refused to believe that she was dead, she was too good for that. He told her after the battle of New York that she was like a little sister to him even if they didn't always get along. But that's how sibling were, right? They mocked and insulted each other, but they would always protect each other. So why was it, that Tony Stark didn't protect her? Why is it that she's now dead and he's still breathing? It just didn't seem right. That's why he went to every surveillance camera in the area and continuously attempted to contact her. He refused to believe it. He was in denial.

* * *

Clint Barton was no stranger to death. He was an assassin, he was trained for it, he knew many S.H.I.E.L.D. agents that had died, he was used to it, but this... this was completely different. It was his partner that was dead, she meant the world to him and now she was dead. Fury was the cause of this, he sent her back. Clint was angry that he did that. He was angry at himself for not going with her to protect her. He remembered her rare smile. He remembered her red hair. He remembered her bright green eyes that shone with life. He remembered when they met, when she turned around, her gun aimed at him, the look of sadness and regret in her eyes. He remembered that she was 13 and he was 18. He remembered how she trusted him and often clung to him. He remembered Budapest, their first mission together. He still never asked her what happened to her hair. Now he'll never know. She was dead. He loved her and she was dead. It should have been him.

* * *

Nick Fury was regretful. He wished he never sent her back there on her own. He should have sent all of the Avengers, or at least just sent Agent Barton with her. He was a fool to return herself to her past. He sent her into her own nightmare and she was killed by her past. He should have listened when Agent Hill and Agent Coulson told him that it wasn't a good idea. At least if he'd have listened, she would still be alive. It was his fault and he knew it.

* * *

Maria Hill wasn't very close to her but she knew about her past. Maria had told Fury not to send her there but he hadn't listened and that caused her mysterious yet troubled friend to die. Her past caught up to her and she was dead. Maria felt that she was to blame by not trying harder to persuade Fury but he may not have listened anyway. She felt guilty to say the least.

* * *

Phil Coulson was devastated. Half of his 'Untouchables' had been killed. He never thought this would happen, he never expected it so soon. They just became a team again, Barton was his usual self and so was Romanoff. They'd just been reunited and now they've been torn apart again. Phil blamed himself a lot, he knew it would happen but he thought he could postpone their deaths even longer, he failed. He knew that sending her back to Russia was a suicide mission. So many people there wanted her dead. They got their wish but Phil wished for her to be safe at base. To be threatening everyone that got in her way and to injure lots of personnel. He would never see that again.


End file.
